Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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