Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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