You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Please don't give away my fajitas
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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