Bisexual people are plain selfish.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
