i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
