At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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