okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
