i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Mom said you looked used
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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