Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
