Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
