Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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