We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My bed smells like the plague
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
