are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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