You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize