i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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