am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
