i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
