That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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