So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
