I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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