she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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