Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Boobs speak an international language.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
