I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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