I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
