Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
