If i come over, it means nothing
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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