But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
