Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if only i could text you this smell
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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