make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
