My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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