I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Are my feet made of real feet?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
