You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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