i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"