If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
