turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Don't tell me you're on acid again