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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.

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• (209): View more from California

  I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going

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• (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that

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