I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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