between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
