And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
