have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
