This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
