how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I would fuck him just for his dog
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