I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
