He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
