I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize