Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
