It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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