would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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