Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
only you would photoshop your dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhhâ€
Randomize
