Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
