Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
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