Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
