I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
