I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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