I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
