she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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