escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
accomplished twins. life is a go
operation harelip BJ is a go
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
