he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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