i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just got carded by a ten year old.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
