He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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