Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
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You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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