Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize