To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
